Downs and Ups

drinking-997189_1920Generally I try not to make a big deal out of it, but the fact is I struggle with depression. There are other things I deal with into the bargain, but depression and a cartoonish self-image are probably the biggest ones.

On the blog, this manifests mostly in my not posting, and even missing the “easy” posts for long stretches of time. In terms of the writing career, well, I haven’t published anything for a couple of years at this point. That kind of speaks for itself, doesn’t it?

And then my Christmas happened.

The summary version of which is that a friend of nearly ten years, someone I trusted, proved he had never been my friend by betraying my trust as completely as he possibly could have, showed that he did it with full knowledge and intent, and then spent an hour twisting the metaphorical knife in my gut.

And, of course, because this is the way the world works, he got the “reward” in the situation, to continue on happily, while I’ve been left with a month of pain, guilt, loneliness, and the inevitable self-recrimination despite having done not one thing to deserve what happened.

So, I’ve been just barely able to function and miserable pretty much since then.

Those, overly simplified, are the downs.

The ups are, potentially, excellent. I just need to get over myself, or at least find a way to turn off the bad feelings for a while and ignore them, in order to get from here to there.

Because it turns out I’m good at some things I didn’t realize I was good at.

I’ve been waiting for six months to pull the trigger on an independent editing business. Because a pro author friend (okay, fine, it was Sarah A. Hoyt) took my notes from reading a manuscript of hers, and said I was a very good structural editor (story structure, character arcs, pacing, that kind of thing — the most abstract level of editing). But, again, the depression makes the “making things happen” rough, so that website and the necessary back end business stuff haven’t happened. This week, they should begin to happen.

It also turns out that several writer friends think I have a good voice, and at least a few want me to record their work to sell as audiobooks on Audible. And while I’m doing that, I might as well toss in some free culture-licensed books and public domain pieces, too.

This particular new career has to wait on a quality microphone and making at least a tiny space acoustically decent for recording. Which means I need to get the editing going first.

Then there’s my own writing. I need to get on that. And Sarah’s goading me on that front as well, demanding I finish a novel a month, and smirking (when I bitch that I can’t do it) that even if I fail, that’s six new novels in a year.

We’ll see about that. (It’s not impossible: My “novels” directory in my writing folder has at least 27 different projects, and a few of those are for series, not single novels.)

The potential is that I can live entirely off all this indie work, and quickly. In fact, if I’m half as good as I’m being told, I should be downright middle class before the end of 2017.

So things are looking to hit an upswing. If I can manage not to sabotage myself.

What does this mean for blogging, though? Hell if I know.

I stumbled and crashed last year with Writing Music Mondays, and while I could take the last several months’ worth of albums I already had selected and use them to extend into this year, at this moment I don’t feel like I’m going to. I’m also not feeling like doing the exploring and listening necessary to keep finding new material for an album a week going forward.

It’s possible that this is simply due to what I’ve been through the past month, as one of the effects is that I’ve been listening purely to either “comfort food” music I already know well, or else going almost exclusively with MandoPop in an effort to cheer myself up to the level where I can at least function every day. Seeking out and taking chances on new obscurities just doesn’t feel possible at this point in time. And as I’m about to become very busy with (hopefully) paying work that will take up most of my attention, I don’t know if I can commit to consuming enough new material to be able to find something worthwhile every week.

Even if I do find time to do that, I’m leaning more toward putting that time toward resurrecting the Creative Uncommons podcast, and maybe turning that into a monthly thing, perhaps even getting it to pay for itself, if not actually a profitable concern.

That is up in the air for now, though.

Also, at least a few acquaintances have been poking me to blog my thoughts on various topics, and I’m starting to feel the urge to do that again.

One of the topics I want to think out loud about is the vaporous impermanence of social media as it is currently instantiated in Facebook and Twitter. Those platforms are set up, purposely, to isolate the users from their friends, filtering content so that you only see around ten percent of what your friends are saying, more or less. A blog, and more to the point an RSS feed, doesn’t do that to you. The filtering isn’t done by someone else, but by the end user, which is as it should be. Blogs also are relatively more permanent, and likely to be saved by the Internet Archive’s Wayback Machine, while if you want to find a Facebook post from a week ago, good luck to you.

So, I’m working on turning my life around and for the better, and what that means for blogging is as yet undetermined. There will be blog posts in the near term future, both requested and simply things that I’ve been thinking about. But beyond that, no promises, as I might shift most of my attention to supporting my new professions.

#Writing #MusicMonday: canzoni per i natali del futuro by Various Artists [Cervello Meccanico]

natali-futuroAi ya, this year.

So, I do have albums selected for every week between the last Writing Music Monday post and today, I just have to write them up and post them. And I want those out of the bloody way, so the rest of this week may see two to three posts per day. Or I may be lazy (I know, what a shock, right?) and they might not. I’ll try.

But for now, it is the first Monday in December, and time for Christmas music.

And, being me, I’m opting to start off weird. (Not to fear, the next two weeks will see plenty of more traditional music for you to enjoy.)

Today’s album is brief at thirty-four minutes, but I enjoy it. It is an album with a mission statement:

All of the most popular Christmas songs were composed during the 19th century, and are still used until today, despite being extremely outdated and obsolete. With this album Cervello Meccanico proposes a collection of songs intended to be more suitable for the present century.

What this is is a collection of experimental electronic works by various artists. Imagine if, e.g., Delia Derbyshire had set out to do new holiday music in her prime. A number of the tracks remind me of her work, and I mean that in a very positive way.

There’s also at least one (very good) chiptune.

Your mileage may vary on how festive or holiday-oriented most of the pieces make you feel, but there can’t be any new classics if you never listen to new songs, right? At the very least, the first track or two should be something you won’t mind having playing in the background at a holiday party or gathering.

Download canzoni per i natali del futuro by Various Artists [Cervello Meccanico] free from Cervello Meccanico’s site, the Free Music Archive, or the Internet Archive.

canzoni per i natali del futuro by Various Artists [Cervello Meccanico] is licensed under a Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.5 Italy License.

#Writing #MusicMonday: Caligari: An Exquisite Corpse by The Chain Tape Collective

coverSo, yeah, I stumbled for several days. Tomorrow, we’ll return to playing Music Monday Catch-Up.

Today, we celebrate Halloween.

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is a key work in the history of film. It invented German Expressionism, started its own genre, and eventually influenced the American genre of film noir. The film is silent, and has no canonical soundtrack. It’s also public domain, which doesn’t hurt anything either.

So The Chain Tape Collective decided to set eleven composers loose on the film, and they produced not one, but two Creative Commons-licensed soundtracks. Each composer was given a part of the film and got to hear a bit of what the composer who worked on an earlier part had done, in true surrealist exquisite corpse fashion.

The results are very odd, as you might expect, and a lot of it sounds like a closet project from the ’80s done by a hermit devoted to modern music and antique films. It makes for disturbing, sinister background sonic wallpaper.

Which means it should be great for that horror novel you’re writing, or your late-night Halloween party tonight!

Download Caligari: An Exquisite Corpse free from the Free Music Archive.

You can also watch or download the resulting film free from the Internet Archive.

Caligari: An Exquisite Corpse
by Various Artists [Chain Tape Collective]
is licensed under a Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

#Writing #MusicMonday: Keep Going by Art Owens

coverThis post should have seen the light of day on 15 August 2016.

“Last year was tough, let’s make this a great year.” So wrote Art Owens about this 2011 release. And 2016 is really flipping tough, just in terms of the number of good people who’ve been dying, let alone the economy, the stark raving bonkers election cycle, and so much more.

So here, an all-too-brief bit of jazzy comfort food and encouragement.

I’ve shared Owens’s work three times before — with Simple One, About Life, and Space Rhythm — and while I freely admit he sometimes veers too close to smooth jazz for my tastes, he’s very, very good, as you can quickly learn listening to this album.

Beyond that, I’m not quite sure what to say about Keep Going. It’s only a bit over twenty minutes long, and yet, it is a complete experience. Owens’s trumpet and guitar skills are front and center, and the overall mood is, as you might expect from the motivation for and title of the album, upbeat and encouraging.

This year, I think we could all use a little of that feeling.

Download Keep Going by Art Owens free from the Internet Archive.

Creative Commons License
Keep Going by Art Owens is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 International License.

#Writing #MusicMonday: Doumen Suite (斗门组曲) by Pharmacopia

doumen-suite-coverThis album was slotted for 8 August 2016.

This is the second album I’ve shared by Pharmacopia (a.k.a. Peter Dragotta), and his latest, as well as the only one he has recorded and released since expatriating from the United States to China.

My earlier share, Whiteboard Dinovisions, was so avant garde that I wouldn’t be shocked if some people just called it noise. Doumen Suite is only slightly less “out there” than that, so: fair warning.

However, if you want something with a groove, do at least give a listen to track three, “The Second Chapter”. If you like it, let the rest of the album play in the background. You may even find you enjoy it!

Part of the album description:

斗门组曲 (Doumen Suite) comes along with a great outlook for Peter Dragotta’s Pharmacopia. He has a new band from China, his now-adopted home. He has come back to the trumpet, his first instrument with a different approach. The session was recorded in Shenzhen with master bassist Xu Bo Wang (王旭波) and drummer Xiao Yu Deng (邓博宇)

Download Doumen Suite (斗门组曲) by Pharmacopia free from the Internet Archive.

Creative Commons License
Doumen Suite (斗门组曲) by Pharmacopia is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

#Writing #MusicMonday: AlphA, Research of Life by G.R.O.K.

alpha-coverThis album was intended for 1 August 2016.

Perhaps it is a sign of how I’ve been feeling over the months I didn’t actually post anything that the albums I selected during that time are, for the most part, in genres I go to for audio comfort food. My only real mandates for Writing Music Mondays are that the music be licensed for free download, preferably in the Creative Commons, and even more preferably under a Free Culture license, and also that the music strikes me as good, even if it’s not particularly up my alley.

Yet here we are, again, with ’80s-style new wave synth, an album blatantly intending to be space music in a retro mode. I can’t help it, I just love this stuff.

This is the first album by G.R.O.K. that I’ve given much time to listening to (I have at least two others downloaded), but I love it. It blends NASA recordings and original voice work into the background of the synth music, and builds a story of mankind exploring space and reaching out a friendly hand to any and all intelligent life that may be out there.

Yes, there’s a fair bit of talking, and even some very synthed singing on one track. Even so, I count it as essentially an instrumental piece, where the vocals are there to add feeling to the music, not intended to be the primary focus of listening.

The focus of the listening are the synth melodies, and they’re just about perfect. In the same way that the Turbo Kid soundtrack was a perfect distillation of mid-’80s film synth music, so does this hit that sweet spot, nostalgic yet fresh, with virtually no cheese factor larded on top.

I love it.

Download Alpha, Research of Life by G.R.O.K. free from the Internet Archive.

Creative Commons License
AlphA, Research of Life by G.R.O.K. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

#Writing #MusicMonday: Ak-47 Big Band

ca483_02_frontThis album was to have been posted on 25 July 2016.

This album is, potentially, a borderline case. It is released under the tightest Creative Commons license there is, granting you the right only to listen and share. Which is a good thing, because most (perhaps all) of the tracks are covers of well-known jazz and jazz-era songs. Lee Morgan’s “Sidewinder” is here. “As Time Goes By” is here, but in an arrangement so original you might have to listen to it a few times to tease out the melody you’re sure you know.

I have no way to check, so I simply assume that the band paid the (minor) fee required to record covers of copyrighted songs. The fact that the license is restricted to “listen and share” tends to support that view.

But even if they haven’t, jazz history is rife with examples of musicians and composers taking earlier works and creating something wholly new out of them. In a sense, jazz is remixing. And given that all the original songs that I know here are so old that the composers are long in the grave, it’s hard to argue that doing original cover versions in any way hurts the creators, in any event.

That concern out of the way, what we have here is a real, genuine, modern big band sound. Ak-47 Big Band is not as tight, nor as bombastic as U.S. Army Blues, from a few albums ago, but they’re real and they’ve got chops.

This eponymous album is, thus far, the only one the band has put out. And, indeed, it is not even a real album, as bandleader Santiago Kurchan writes:

This is not exactly a record. It’s just a sample of the work we’ve been doing, w[h]ich we are proud of and want to show. It’s not a record because the group formed just a few months ago and a pro[j]ect this big has its own time to develop and to generate a continuity and flow in the music and in the people.

Alas, like many Creative Commons jazz outfits, this appears to be a one-and-done affair. This album was released in 2011, and I find nothing new from them at any of the band’s or the bandleader’s sites or social media profiles.

Perhaps it’s simple economics, that maintaining a regular big band is impossible in today’s long tail economy, especially in the CC portion of it. Perhaps it’s just that nobody has found the right formula to make such a thing economically feasible.

Download Ak-47 Big Band by Ak-47 Big Band free from the Internet Archive.

Creative Commons License
Ak-47 Big Band by Ak-47 Big Band is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.